Parents listen up; we’ve all been through it. Don’t worry; you’re not alone if you’ve dealt with a child melting down today, and it’s not even 6:00 A.M.

Not so long ago at church, I walked into Sunday school only to hear a friend say something to the effect of, “Just once I wish we could have a Sunday morning without any issues.” I smiled and said, “Me too.” I could feel the angst and sense of defeat as she looked at us, almost like she was saying, “Is it just me?” I could also see the hurt, worry, and concern. Little did she know we were feeling the same thing. We’d had a similar struggle with our kiddos that morning. I thought to myself, “Oh my gosh, it’s not just us.” I mean sometimes that car ride with them after an early morning issue, well let’s just say it ain’t always fun.

We love our kids dearly, and they are amazing at 11 and 14-years-old. They’re also challenging, immature, and stubborn. Umm, guess what, they’re kids, and that’s part of it. Knowing this doesn’t mean we don’ t love them. It means it’s a reality, and we love them knowing that reality.

My husband and I were both so happy to hear this sweet mom speak up, not because we relished in her frustration or hurt, but because it was nice to know others face the same thing. He even mentioned later that night that he was so glad she talked with us. Not because she was saying something mean or complaining about her kids, it wasn’t like that at all, but because it was real. We ended up exchanging stories that seemed to make all of us smile at the idea that life isn’t perfect. And in those few moments of being vulnerable, we bonded, knowing every parent deals with unfun moments, and those moments can really stink. I think we almost instinctively don’t say anything because who doesn’t want to protect their children from judgments or preconceived notions, especially when they are not at their best.

We can all get so caught up in this idea of presentation and showing our best that we forget it’s okay to talk about those moments that aren’t our favorite with other trusted friends because we can all learn. I mean, I’m just telling ya, I’ve seen my kiddos have less than appealing behavior only because they couldn’t find a shoe or sock. Or they don’ t want to get up and go to church. They do not want to do homework, or they lie and say they did the homework, or they only want to eat junk food and don’t want to drink anything but pop. And we’ve all had a kid fake being sick to avoid church or school or a task that day or the next day. I mean, it’s just the truth because no child or adult is perfect.

I’ve kind of learned not to freak just because they are freaking, and every week after church, the one who lashed out or acted up usually apologizes in his or her own way. But The Sunday morning drama routine seems to be getting better with time and appears to be happening with less frequency. And we do things to help them wrap their brains around; yep, I’m going to church or school tomorrow. These are my responsibilities, and if I fall short, the consequences will also be mine, and if I don’t fall short, the rewards will be mine. It’s not fun sometimes being the adult or doing your best to be ‘the adult.’ No lie. It’s not easy being the parent or the bonus parent, but the rewards far outway the crap.

I guess I just wanted to say to all the other parents or caregivers out there who dread or struggle with those moments before you leave for church, school or an event because you know a child is going to have an issue, meltdown, throw up an attempted roadblock or even spout off the dreaded, “I hate you.” It’s okay. You are not alone. And most likely, you are not hated 😉 By the way, since becoming a bonus mom, I call my mom a lot just to say, “I’m so sorry.” LOL.

Anyway, if your kids show up at the family destination and their clothes don’t match, if you have crazy hair and are even already 50-percent worn out because of the kiddo struggle just to get them in the freakin car, you are NOT alone, and it’s OK!

I guess we’ve just all got to learn those teachable moments that can make you want to pull your hair out are just as valuable as those moments where all seems right with the world. SO, if you are scrolling my social media or anyone else’s and you only see the good, that’s okay. We must celebrate the good moments. But remember, it’s entirely possible earlier in the day someone was crying or flipping out over their chores or something.

And hey if you see us smiling and laughing and having a blast together, which happens most the time, know there may have been a child/teen meltdown or pouting moments ealier…just like at every other home where families are trying to learn and grow together as they walk through this thing called life. No child is perfect, and no parent is perfect, but together, we can learn to be better and do better. We can also learn to give ourselves and them a break knowing, hoping, and praying it will get better.

And to the sweet mom at Sunday school who was gracious enough to trust us … Thank you for being so real and helping us all laugh and learn about one the crazy parts of this journey called life. And thank you to all the folks at BA who work so hard for our families.